when i was very little i was very, very picky about what i ate. basically if it was green, i wouldn’t touch it, but everything that was orange — which in my world meant cheese, oranges, and carrots — were absolutely fucking delicious.
so one day we were having dinner and i was merrily eating some cheese doodles when my brother yanked the bag from me and told me to start eating ‘real dinner’ with the rest of the family. everyone else just kinda kept eating but i was outraged. dinner was green. dinner was partly brown. dinner had no orange.
the next day, still mad, i wandered through the house to try and see what i could do to annoy my brother, and i caught him watching some old porn with our cousins who were visiting. obviously this was way before i realized what it was they were watching. i only noticed that none of the actors were doing any talking, and that everyone was naked. so, just like any kid brother would, i hit ‘eject’ on the vcr and ran with the tape, yelling ‘YOU SHOULD WATCH REAL MOVIES!’
and then i bumped into my dad and he was somewhat shocked that i, in all four of my years of age, was holding one of his porno movies, all the while realizing that his other son was watching them with his cousins.
REVENGE WAS SO SWEET YOU GUYS.
pic unrelated.
